Live Well, Lead Strong: Staying Strong In The Storm

Welcome, everyone!  I bet you all are familiar with the classic Phases of Group Development pictured below.  Remember this?

Here’s what we know about school leadership in February:  See those arrows in the graph above the phase of “Storming”?   See how they’re headed in opposite, disorganized directions?  Hmm….If you feel that’s a picture of where your team may be right now, remember two things:  First, you’re not alone in that feeling; and second, there are specific things you can do as a leader to move your group back into functioning well. As Maya Angelou stated wisely, “Every storm runs out of rain”, and I know that will happen for all of you too.   So let’s get started!

First, if you’re sensing an undercurrent of tension in your group, it’s a cue for you to focus on listening well—especially to the meaning behind what people are saying.  It’s a time to “mine for conflict” by asking things like, “I’m wondering if you can say more about what you’re thinking..” or “I realized I haven’t heard from you about …How are you feeling about what’s happening?”  

Opening a meeting with the three questions:  What do you see right now?  What do you think about what you’re seeing?  What are you wondering about what you see?  Often what people are wondering about is a non-threatening, graceful way for them to name what they’re fearing—and that’s so important for us to know!

Most important:  Think about how you want people to perceive you right now, and listen without your defenses up.  Those opinions you hear may be important data you do need to consider. If that sounds like listening that way will tax your own inner resources, this is a time to reach out to your own personal Board of Directors to let them know you need to have someone just listen to you.  We all need support in the storm!

Sometimes when there’s a storm brewing in our group, it’s a cue for us to go back and help them “re-form”.  Your people may need to remember their purpose, revisit the strength that’s been in the group, and recall their shared history.  Trust-building Protocols like the Artifact Strategy can be a powerful time of sharing memories and drawing the group together with a strong sense of connection. 

If tension in your school is focused on one particular employee or team, remember this:  Please don’t let that tension with one person or one team color your own self-perception of who you are as a leader. Don’t take on the colors they are painting you with!  Instead,  this is a time to intentionally cultivate and nurture your other relationships.  Write that personal card to someone, or step into a classroom to give a sincere compliment, or treat yourself to time in the classroom watching your kiddos grow and learn!  

How you show up as a leader is something you can control —so build your own strength with support from your own circle, and then take the opportunities to be a source of positivity and connection for others.  That character is your legacy…and I promise nurturing and prioritizing  your relationships will help you walk through any storm you face.  

May your courage shine,

Debbie McFalone, Ph.D. 

To connect with Debbie regarding serving  your district’s leaders, subscribing to her Monday Messages on leadership, or ordering her book Meeting The Moment, please go to www.LiveWellLeadStrong.com.  Thank you!